Why is it my innermost feelings are not hidden from you?

Some things I think and feel would be more appropriate if they were concealed

Until this budding relationship is congealed.

Apparently when the pen moves

No matter the words I use

For some reason the actual thought transcends the written word

The noble concept I wish to convey

Quickly drifts away

Replaced by the actual feeling of doubt, uncertainty

And yes perhaps, though I detest its use

Jealousy

At the thought that someone else

Tonight stood in my place

Or at least the position I desire to be

Someone whose physical presence

Was available, ready, and willing

To steal my love away

And so I concocted in my mind

A dashing, handsome fellow

Absent the years that has slowed my pace

Devoid of the scars from past attempts to fill the void

Left by you so long ago

A knight

A southern gentleman

A laughing, dashing fellow

Able to be whatever your heart desired

And so I draw my sword

Ready to do battle if the need arises

To shed his blood if the need be

Only to discover

This lover dwells only in me

A phantom of my mind.

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